Log in

not rap....just a song..sorta..:)

I take a look at you..
My heart takes an extra.
extra beat too it...
Has there ever been a
time where,i wished
I didn't have too
look in your eyes,and feel
Like i don't love you?.
If there was,i don't remember it.
Baby,why do you have too keep
poppin' up,everytime
i try
and let you go?.
Uh oh...
Guy,you have my oxygen for sooooo
long.Boy,i dont think
i could ever...
i dont think that the day,
Where i go 'i gotta leave this..i cant no more...
Goodbye..'will ever come!.
i did it once,i COULD do it again.....
oooooh oh..
But i won't...Because i've tried..i've tried it twice now..
The first time,was easy..i didn't realize i had even
put ya down for soo long..
And yet,when i saw u for the first time,
in a yr and a haalf,baby i fell harder...
Like a stone,
Landing and hitting a baby bird..
There may be time's,where i go 'Why did i have to find u again?.Why did i HAVE too fall harder?.'Ooh.I feel like everytime,
i get close too ya again and again..
you push me away..You don't know it,
but if ya keep pushin' people away...
Because of something someone...did..
It catches up too ya..somehow..somewaaay..
Everyday,i wake up..I look at my phone,thats got your
picture on it..And i smile..But then..i look at my background,
see your beautiful face..And my smile dies..
Because when i look at my phone,
I see the OLD YOU..But when my background comes up...
I see the NEW YOU..One i cant relate too..One who's music
isn't the same anymore!.
Baby,you had me goin' for soo long..
But there comes a time..When ya think
'Is this really worth the fiiight..Tooo fight for something/someone
You don't even really know?'.People may think i'm crazy for
feelin' like this..the way i do...i do...
but they don't know..how it feels..
no,they'll NEVER KNOW..
Just how much,it hurts...People always say 1 thing,
just too go along with ya,for a few weeks...
But then the truth comes out..Eventually..
But baby..
Baby i don't think i could live without ya.
I know i could,one or way..or another...
But boy,i'd die INSIDE..if i couldn't at least hear your voice...
Your songs..Your...everything.
Baby you'll never know..
Just how much u helped me..With LIFE ITSELF..
Because a part of me..thinks that SOMETIMES,you've given up..
on caring...But then..i always get proven wrong..
By YOU!!.
You'll never know the..pain that resides,in my heart for you..You'll never see..what it feels like..too me..
But then..i remember that..that you DO KNOW..Because..once..You
were hurtin' like this...
Ya can't tell me you weren't..
That you DON'T KNOW..Because i know u do..
You just never ever,
want to admit,how WRONG,
she did u...But,who would?.
You'll never see,
but i hope u will/do,
Just how important,you are....
you've got people,who actually..caaare
about you..So don't be afraid,
too let it show..I'll never
push you away..
I'd take nothing more,nothing leeess.
til i heard the words,'i don't have to hurt anymore,
people care...'.But i know that day will never cooome.
And all because of how SHE did u...
But YOU'LL also,never know
Jus how much,you've helped me..its too bad,because i'll
love you til the eeeeennd.
And forever...But its all worthless..If you never see..
jus how special u really are,to some people....
I won't jus love u,til the end,baby...
I'll love you forever....It'll never stop...
Baby..forever IS forever..
What good,is livin' life,if i couldn't have YOU around?!.
I know...You give SOOO much,and don't ask for much more,
and yet....
Yet...People expect so much outta you...
but what THEY will never see,is that...You give it your all.
And take nothing more or less...In the end,you jus
want to be happy...
Baby..I know..I'd hold u in my arms,forever if i could...

It'll Never Stop/Forever U.

Candice-Some Girls

Some Girls-Candice Accola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Girls-Candice Accola

Sunshine/JesseMac Fan Fic

Katie Cassidy-Red/hight:5'11/18yrs
Lea McCartney-Pink-hight:5'3/14yrs

Jesse POV

I walked into my tour bus after a concert and Meet & Greet..I was exhausted..I sat down on one of the couches and pulled my phone out,looking through it to see if my girlfriend or if anybody had called..Turns out,my mom called,once,Lea my sister,twice,and Greg my bestfriend..Oh..And Alissa Matthews,my girl-bestfriend..I was 17,turning 18 in about 3 monthes,and was going home in 2 days.I couldn't wait to get back to Ardsley...I missed home!...I decided to call Alissa,first and let her know how it went..Ring..Ring..Rin-"Hey,J!.How was it?".I smiled and laughed..I knew Liss missed me as much as i did her.."Hey,Liss!..It went good,no crazies this time.."."Haha!..Thats good..So,when are ya coming home?..Everybody misses you!".I sighed lightly.."In 2 days!..Hey,can i ask you something,Liss?".Liss laughed..I knew i didn't have to ask."Sure,Jess..What?"."Hows Katie?..I haven't heard from her tonight,just wondered if you did?".I heard Liss sigh..Whenever Liss did this,it meant she didn't want to tell me something.."Liss..Tell me"."No,J..Sorry..I thought she was calling you earlier..I ran into her after school,and she said she'd call you..Guess not".I sighed..I finished the call with Liss and went and called Lea..She was already in bed,so i left her a quick message..Then i got into bed,and grabbed my phone..I sent a quick text to Katie,saying..'Nite baby!..I'm coming home in 2 days!..Call me,Katie!I miss you!..Luve U!'.I sent the text and went to sleep..The next morning,Melissa,my 2nd backup dancer/singer,woke me up..I turned over and glared at her.."Jesse McCartney!Get your ass out of that bed!".I rolled my eyes and got up...I had an interview and signing and then have to start packing to go home..We arrive at the interview place 20mins early,so i've got time to call Katie..I hit the number 2 for Katie's speeddial..Its ringing and ringing..Come on Katie!.Katie finally picks up.."Hello?".I smile..I really miss her.."Hey,babe!..Whats up?".I hear her breath slightly catch as realizes who it is.."Jesse?.Hey!..I'm sorry i'm haven't called,Jesse..I've umm,been..Busy".I frown at the short pause but don't give any thought to it though.."Oh,okay baby..Well,i'm at an interview then off to a signing,then i gotta pack to come..Home!".I hear her gasp.."Yo-your coming h-home?"."Yep!..why don't you want me to,baby?".I could hear someone in the background,but just           figured it was one of her friends.."Umm..No of course,babe!..Just a little caught offgaurd!...Of course i'm happy!..Hey i gott-gotta g-go!..Ha.Stop!..Bye Jess!".I could hear her laughing and giggling and Katie never giggles that much...Before i can say anything,she hangs up!...I frown,then slide my phone into my pocket and head into the interview...30mins later,i comeout and head into the signing..I see a bunch of teenage and pre-teens waiting...I smile and greet them...One of them comes up and says "Hi!..".I force a smile and say back.."Hi..I'm Jesse..Whats your name?".She squeels and i resort to biting my lip..(nervous habit)..She hands me a picture of when i was 15 maybe 16,and says.."Its Shawna".I nod,and go through about another 40 girls..At the last one,this really pretty one steps up..She has medium Brown hair,with blond highlights,its about mid shoulder length,and her bodys slender,but not skinny but not fat either...But she had sunglasses on,a dark shade of red,kinda like the ones i had gotten for Alissa for her birthday last yr..I ask."Hi..Whats your name?".The girl hands me a picture,of me and Liss,probably one from a magazine,and as i'm going to sign it,she takes off her shades..Just as i'm looking to ask her hername,she says "Its Alissa".I knew that voice anywhere!..I look up,and into Liss' sweet milk choco;ate eyes!..I gasp,then say."Liss!!.What are you doing here?!".Liss laughs that laugh and smile i love..Whoa..Where did that come from?!...And says."I wanted to surprise you,J!..Did I?".I motion for her to come around behind the table,motion the gaurds not to stop her,and when she gets behind the table,i hug her to death..She laughes and says."I've missed you to,Jess!..".I let go of her,sign a few more loose posters,and get ready to leave..I motion for Liss to follow me,and we head back onto the bus..After we get in,and get her settled,we sit down on the couch..She sits on the couch with me,i pull her into my lap,putting my hand around her waist,and tickle her..She laughes and starts doing it back...We've done since..well..forever!..We met in Kindergarden,and we're inseperable since...We both hated being away from eachother..It sucked...But the thing is is that,she's my bestfriend..She's there whenever i needed her,whenever i'm having a hard time..And i'm always there for her...We've always had eachothers backs!..No matter what!..Thats what i loved..And what i loved and love about her is her sense of humor,and how she can still stick by me even when i'm gone so often...I've never admitted this,especially since i've got Katie now but..Well,i think i've even started to love her even as more than just as my bestfriend..I doubt she does though..But anyway...


Liss' POV

I'm sitting in Jesse' lap...And i'm freaking!..I mean i shouldn't be..but i am!..I've grown to love Jesse as more than just a 'bestfriend'!...He won't see me that way though..No way!..I lean my head on his shoulder as we watch one of his favorite show's,Dexter..I looked at Jesse as he changed episode with the remote."You know,Jesse..Its unbelievable just obsessed you are with this!".Jesse shook his head,put the remote down,and lunged at me..Which wasn't hard,considering i still in his lap..He tossed me down onto the seat next to us,and started tickling me..I couldn't stop laughing!..."J-J-Jes-se!..ST-STOP!..Please!I'm S-SORRY!!".I can't stop laughing..But as his fingers tickled me,i suddenly wanted to kiss him..Kiss Jesse!My bestfriend!..This was bad!REAL BAD!...I manage to look at Jesse,who's stopped tickling me,and is now just staring back at me,with the same expression on his face as i have...I can't take it with Jesse on me,looking at me like that,while i can't get up from under!..He's literally got me pinned down!..He's pinned me with his hands on my shoulders,and knees on my upper legs..Its driving me CRAZY!..Liss,don't do it!..He's got Katie now!..He's happy!..But if only he really knew what she did when he's gone...Why she hasn't called him in about 2days..He wouldn't be so happy...But i can't keep the truth from my bestfriend..That would Just hurt him more in the long run..


Jesse' POV

I'm literally sitting on Liss.We've done this game before..But this time's..Different...I notice Liss is looking at me the same way i'm looking at her..I look at her one last time,then get off of her..I notice her pout a little,but she doesn't complain..I laugh..Since its almost 1 AM,we get ready for bed..Joe,my bus driver,ancounces that we've arrived at the Hilton Hotel..We get upto our room,and get unpacked...I let Liss take the window bed..She loves them..I set my duffle bag on the bed,and look over at Liss...She has got to be one of the prettiest girls i've seen!..And i've seen plenty!...More than my share...Liss notices me and slightly..Blushes?.."Hey,J?..I'm gonna go into the bathroom and change,and you can change out here.Kay?".I nod..Once she's in the bathroom,and i've heard the door lock,i start undressing..I pull out my blue and white Yankees tshirt that Liss had gotten me 2yrs ago,and pull out my boxer shorts..I slip them on,and just as i'm about to go to slip my shirt on,Lissa walks out..I notice she's wearing the blue and orange Tshirt with a sign on it that says 'kiss liss if you dare!'..And her banana-yellow shorts...I had gotten her that shirt..Liss walked over to me,and wrapped her arms around my waist..She felt nice just holding her..She pulled back,and slipped my shirt on,and smirked..I laughed..


Liss POV

I was wrapped in Jesse' arms..It felt so nice..I pulled away and slipped his shirt on him..I smirked and laughed that smile and laugh i love so much..."Jesse,could you get 2 water bottles.One for you one for me?".Jesse nodded,and i walked over to my bed..When Jesse turned to get the waters,i noticed that he had on the boxer shorts i had gotten him that said 'Strike This!'.I laghed,when Jesse turned back around,he looked at strange.Then he realized what i was laughing at and smiled..Jesse handed me my water and went to sit on his bed..But i stopped him..Jesse turned back around.I motioned for him to sit next to me,on my bed..Jesse grinned..I smiled..


Jesse POV

I'm sitting on Liss' bed with her,talking and drinking water with her..I've missed our rutine so much..Even though we're both almost adults,it still feels like we're always be kids...Liss is talking about school.."So,Liss,how's Sarbo?".(actual teacher of Jesse' highschool days!).Liss laughes,knowing i had a small little 'crush' on her.."She's fine..Still kicking it up with the guys' hormones but..What can you do?".We laugh..Then i ask.."So,did Greg ever make it on his team he wanted?..".Liss shook her head.."He decided not to,i guess..Matt told me that he decided it would be better to focus on music".I nodded.Thats Greg for ya..I then the one question i couldn't get out of my head.."Whats Katie been up to?..She still hasn't called me since waaay earlier technically,yesterday morning,and i called her".Liss just shook her head,like she knew something but couldn't or wouldn't tell me about..Finally she said.."I'm not to sure J..I know she's been going around doing casting calls,but they keep turning her down.And i know that she just went shopping with Lea yesterday..And she went to the movies with-".Suddenly she stops talking,and gets a look on her face,like she shouldn't have just said what she said..Now i KNOW somethings up!.."Liss..Whats wrong?..You keep getting quiet around the subject of Katie,and whenever i ask about her,you don't really say anything!..Whats up?".I see her sort of flinch at the mention of Katies name..I kinda always knew that Greg didn't like Katie,but i knew thats cause the guy had dated her..But whats up with Liss?.."Jesse..You gotta listen to me..Carefully and not get pissed..at me or upset and mad at ME!..if i tell you.Okay?".I nod,concerned and worried..Liss is almost never like this...Liss sighes and looks at me..I grab her hand and say.."Liss,you know you can tell me anything,and you should know that i wouldn't ever get mad or upset at YOU for it!..".Liss smiled and squeezed my hand,but held onto it.."Now..Who was she at the movies with?".Liss takes a breath.."It wasn't just the movies..Its been everyday almost..".I frown.."Who?".Liss takes a deep breath.."Tyler..Hoechlin".My eyes go wide.."Wh-what?!..HIM?!..but she-she hates that guy!"."No,she doesn't Jess!..".I can feel her squeezing my hand..Liss makes me face her.."Jesse.She's been hanging out with him,for like that month..And not just 'hanging out'.He's been to her house like 5times".I shake my head.."That can't be true,Liss!"."But it is,Jesse!..She won't say it to YOUR face,but she's told Greg,and me this".I frown at her and ask.."What has she said?".Liss sighes..I needed Lissa to talk to me!...But i knew she was just trying to protect me.."Lissa..Come on..Just tell me..I need to know,L"..Liss sighes again,then looks straight into my face..This scares me a bit.."Jesse..She told Greg that she..She wants Tyler back..And that..Your gone to often for her..And that..And Greg told me that she told him..And she's told me to my face before,that...If she could,she would make me 'stay away'from you..Jesse,she doesn't like you hanging with me..She thinks that well..She thinks that you 'like like'me..And she says she can always 'see it'on our faces whenever wer'e around eachother..But i told her its not true..".I lightly gasped,i had tears coming but wouldn't let them through..I laid down,then sat back up..I turned to Liss and asked the one question..."Liss..If i didn't have Katie..Would you have answered differentely to that?".Liss looked shocked but somewhat happy..


Liss POV

I just stared at Jesse.I couldn't believe that he had just asked that question!..I blinked..I looked at Jesse,trying to figure out if he was being serious.Sometimes you just can't tell with Jesse..Unless he uses his special name for me..He looks at me and asks.."Lissy?".Thats the name for me,so now i know he's being serious!..O sigh deeply.."Yes,i would have,Jester"..Jesse smiles,knowing the name i just called him...He moves over to go to his bed,but i stop him..He turns around,asking.."Yeah,Liss?".I smirk,patting the my bed..We've always done this since we were like,13 or 14..He would lay down with me,at least until i fell asleep,sometimes longer..I liked it..

Story/stories...Jesse McCartney Fan Fics

CHAPTER 1.Chapter 1.Just the Beginning

I yelled(again)for my daughter,Courtney to get downstaires and get to the door for school that morning.I had been having trouble with her ever since she had turned 12,but it never was THIS bad,to where she wouldn't even listen to me.Courtney finally came down the stairs,with her backpack.I got a good look at her and when i did,i took a double take and said,"Um..What are you WEARING?!".She just looked at me like i was stupid.I looked at her 'outfit',which consisted of a low-rise mini jeans skirt,just barely covering her legs,a skimpy strappy 'tank',colored a screaming orange,barely covering her chest,and platforms.And a purple jean jacket on.I looked her over and said,"No!.Go upstairs and change..and hurry it up,Courtney Alli".When i said her middle name,like always,i got a pang in my chest.Remembering Alli,hurt..I wiped my eyes as Courtney boudned down the stairs again,this time wearing Jeans and a long-sleeved shirt and platforms.I sighed.I thought 'At least she changed her CLOTHES!'.We headed out to my car and got in.I drove her to school.She was a yr ahead,in Freshman yr..She was a bright kid.She really was.We arrived at the school,and Courtney went and leaned into the back,where she had thrown her backpack..She went to get out,when i said,"Hey".She turned in her seat and looked at me.I looked at her for a few seconds,thinking of Alli...Courtney waved her hand if front of my face,finally getting my attention.She said,"Hello?.Dad?!.I gotta go!".I nodded and leaned over,kissing her cheeck and watched her get out and walk up to her friends.I watched her for a few minutes,then when i saw her starting to head off with them,i started my car and headed for the studios.I don't exactly write my own songs anymore,i just do it for other artists right now..On the way to the studios,i think about the last 13yrs,without Alli..Tears slide down my cheeks,and when Courtney's not around,i allow to them show.I arrived at the studio and cleared my face up and walked in.There was this artist,well,beginner.Her name was Lindsay Ryans..

Chapter 2.Where did i Go Wrong?.
I was in the studio with Lindsay,we had been working on an album of hers,for awhile..She had been in there for about...Almost a yr now,and we had gotten pretty close.So close,to almost flirting.We were in the studio,when i got a call on my cell.I looked at it,and saw it was my daughter.I answered,"Courtney?Whats wrong?Its the middle of school".She sighed heavy and said,"Duh!I know that,Dad!.The office made me call you..They...Need you to come down here...".I frowned.She had been getting into trouble a LOT lately.Mostly just for talking back to teachers,and for her report cards.Which,were,not THAT bad,but at Beverley Hills High,where my sister had gone,things were..different.I sighed and said,"What happened?".She said,"I...Just come,please?.I'll explain when you get here...".I sighed and said alright.I looked at Lindsay and said,"Hey..I gotta go..Courtney's school needs me..Can we.pick this up later?".She smiled and nodded,hugging me goodbye..Though this time,it seemed to last longer and longer.Finally i pulled away and waved and headed for the high school.When i got there,i went inside and saw Courtney sitting in a chair,by the front desk.Though,she was NOT wearing the jeans and long-sleeved shirt that she changed into.She had changed BACK into the outfit i had NO too..I sighed heavy and walked past her and up to the desk.They knew me there..Aimee,the secretary,looked at me and smiled a little..I smiled back and then she said,"Were you aware,that Courtney wore THAT,too school?".I shook my head and said,looking back at my daughter,"I made her change..I did NOT KNOW she had put those clothes into her bag though!".Courtney rolled her eyes and huffed.I looked back over at Aimee,who was filing something i recognized well.I said,"Whoa..Is that?".She nodded sadly and said,"She has already seen the principal,Jesse...She's being suspended.You need to talk to her..I know its not easy over the past couple of yrs,and i know you miss-".Courtney jumped up and said,"Oh god!.Please,save us BOTH the sweet talk,stop hitting on my dad,infront of me,and get a damned life!".My eyes widened and i said,"Courtney.Alli.Go out to the car,and get into it!Now!".She stood there,looking at me.I rarely ever talked to her harshly,but she was outta line.Courtney looked at Aimee,then at me,then back too Aimee and rolled her green-ish brown eyes and walked out to our car.I sighed and turned back to Aimee.I said,"I'm sorry Aimee.i have no idea what the hell is wrong with her!".She smiled gently and said,"Hon..Shes in her teens right now,the earky stage,shes a yr ahead of her class,and..you know this part...She knows what happened to..Alli right?".I nodded and sighed..I had sat Courtney down one day,about 3yrs ago,and told her what had happened.I think THATS when my daughter had changed..I sighed and said,"well.i better go..Before my daughter decides to highjack my car".Aimee laughed gently and waved goodbye.I got into the car.I started it up and drove back to our house..On our way back,Lindsay called..Something started happening about a few months back..We'd been on a few dates,but i wasn't ever sure.I mean,i liked her,sure...Lindsay asked if i could come over tonight and help her work on her songs..I sighed,looked at Courtney,who was facing the passanger window,and sighed..I said alright..We pulled up to the house right then.I cut the ingine and we both walked into the house..Courtney ran too her room,knowing i'd be up soon.But i never did go up there...about 5 hours later,Courtney's music was on and i knocked.I heard her turn it down and she opened her door.She said,"Yeah?".I said,"I'm going out for awhile tonight..You can go over too Jenna's of you want..You've got a week off,anyway..By the way,how the hell did you manage too sneak your clothes past me,Courtney Alli?".She half glared at me,half grinned.She said,"Dad.Teens have ways..I KNOW YOU weren't always a 'good little boy' were you?.I mean..think about K-".I cut her off,glaring slightly."Courtney!.Enough!.I'm leaving in about...4 hours...".She sighed and nodded.She slammed her door closed.I waled back into my bedroom and laid down,with my headphones on.The song Don't Stop believin' by Journey was on,a little while later.A few hours passed by,and i got up and got ready..Courtney had left an hour earlier.I went over to Lindsay's and helped her..Although,not to my surprise very much,it wasn't just the music we were working on!.We started making out.I stopped halfway through..Lindsay looked at me and asked,"Wanna go back to yourplace?.Court's not home,is she?".I thought and shook my head.i was NOT thinking straight!.We drove back and went up to my room.Courtney,i knew,or thought,wouldn't be home for awhile...I laid Lindsay on my bed,kissing down her neck..She had gotten my shirt off...I flipped us and about 15 minutes later,my pants were off,and her jeans were off.Her button down purple shirt was halfway off...She started grinding on me.I groaned..My hands went up her arms,to her shoulders,and worked her shirt down her arms...I didn't even hear my daughter,coming into the house and up the stairs..Lindsay was sitting on me,leaning down,kissing my neck,when i suddenly heard a soft voice,almost whimper,"D-dad?".I sat up so fast,i almost knocked Lindsay back onto the bed.I didn't exactly care though at the moment.My eyes met my daughters tear filled eyes...She was just looking from me to Lindsay,probably,from the look on her face,not believing what she was seeing at all...I said,"Courtney...What are you doing home,this early?".She finally cleared her throat some and said,"I wanted to come home...But i guess i shouldn't have!.What the hell,dad?!Lindsay?!LINDSAY?!.What happened?!".I blinked tears back...Lindsay had already went outside...I got up and got dressed while Courtney ran back to her room..When i was finally dressed,i went and knocked on Courtney's door.She yelled,"GO AWAY!".I sighed and opened her door slightly,to see her on her bed,laying on her stomach,her face barried into her pillow.I sighed and walked in quietly and sat down on her bed gently...I rubbed her back gently,but she pulled away from me and looked at me as she sat up and said,"I cant..god damn it,dad!.Why?!.I thought you loved mom?!".I blinked hard to stop the tears,so Courtney wouldn't see them..She nodded slightly and said,"I want my middle named changed".I looked up at her surprised and said,"What?!..No!.Your middle name,is Alli,Courtney!NO!".She looked at me and said,"Having a hard time letting go of mom,dad?!didnt look like it a little while ago to me!!.I want to change it to Nicole,what MOM wanted it to be!I don't want it to be Courtney Alli anymore!.I hate her!".My heart started pounding faster when she said that...I stood up and said,"Courtney!.No!.Your NOT CHANGING YOUR NAME!.And please do NOT hate your mother!.She did nothing wrong!".She glared at me and said,"Oh yeah?!She picked you,didn't she?!".I sighed and said,"Sweetie..please listen to me-".She cut me off harshly and said,"NO! I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU!.YOU CHEATED ON MOM,DAD!.I...I...".I looked at her,knowing what she was gonna say,if she could even get it out..She said,"I HATE YOU!!!!!!".She screamed and ran out of her room and down the stairs and outside.Lindsay was long gone by now..I sighed and sat down and cried...I wakled back into my room and started writing music.I hadn't done THAT since..forever!.I wrote:

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I cried as i wrote it.About 3hrs later,at around...1am,i still hadn't heard from my daughter..i was worried.I called her phone,and nothing.I knew that there was a party at one of her friends' tonight.And se probably went to it..I finally went to bed ata round 2am.At about 2:37am,i heard the front door open and Courtney sneak upstaires to her room..I sat up,just as she walked into my room,which surprised me.I looked at her,neither of saying a word..I motioned her over to me,to get up on the bed with me.She slowly walked over and climbed into.I pulled her close to me and she laid into me,crying....After about 10 minutes,she cleared her eyes and nose and said,"I'm sorry...I don't hate you..i love you,dad...I don't hate mom,either..but how could you?!".I sighed,holding her to my chest as she contiued to cry.I said,"Sometimes,baby girl,you gotta move on..Rather you..want to or not...I DO love your mom,so much Courtney..Which is why,partly,why i don't want you to change your name..I'll ALWAYS love her,baby...i will...".She cried harder..I had to admit,i wasn't doing great at all,holding my own tears in this time.She cried and said,"B-but why?".I looked down at her slightly and asked,"Why what,sweetie?".She sniffled and said,"Why...Did *I* survive,and she didn't?!...".I sighed heavy at that..I said,tears coming down.."baby..I don't know why..I ask god that,every single..Day and night..But i'm glad i still got you!.".She nodded and hugged onto me tighter..We sat there for a few minutes,when i said,"Courtney..Remember that song,i had?.From my very last album?Oxygen?".She nodded,wiping her nose on her sleeve.I made a face and grabbed a tissues for her.She laughed gently and nodded and said,"Um....Yeah..Why?".I sighed and said,"I want you to hear it..Please?".She frowned but nodded.I grabbed her hand led her downstairs,into a cabinet,which usually held our CDs and movies..But i had moved stuff around before..I got it out,the cd,and handed it to her..We went into her room and she played it..

Baby you're a star
Unrolling out the red carpet for you on the floor
Cuz independent everything
I'm gonna give you when you come to my door
And I made you the air I'm taking
Without you I'm suffocating I can't let you go
Cuz everything as I don't need around me
I've been hooked since you found me
Baby look how I'm diving below

Alli you are my oxygen
Alli you are my oxygen
Alli you are my oxygen
Alli you are my oxygen
Alli  you are my oxygen
Alli you are my oxygen
Alli you are my oxygen yeah
Without you don't think I can live no
Cuz baby I'm your advocate yeah
Alli, you are my oxygen whoa

When it stopped,she looked at me,tears coming down again.She said,"Mom?.You wrote that for her?".I said,coming over by her and sitting down."Well,not exactly wrote it FOR HER,but it fit so well,it became hers.I have something i want you to have".She looked at me.She followed me into my room and i walked to my dresser and pulled out a box.I opened it,and it revealed the Heart Locket i had given to Alli.The one that said "Oxygen".Courtney looked at me and said,"Why are you showing me this,dad?I've seen this a million times".I nodded and closed my dresser drawers stood there.I said,"I know you have,honey..But i want you to have to this..you know it was your moms..Your a BIIIG huge part of her..Take it".Alli just looked at me for a full minute.Then she slowly took the necklace and looked at it,like she'd never seen it before..She smiled..I smiled and hugged her tightly..I whispered,"I love you Courtney Alli McCartney".I felt her smile into my chest and she said,"I love you too,dad".We pulled back and she asked,"Would you put it on for me?".I nodded and fastened it for her.I looked at her,wearing the locket..I smiled,and said,"It suits you".She rolled her eyes playfully.I headed to bed,when she asked,"Um..dad?".I turned back around and said,"yeah,baby girl?".She hesitated for  a moment,before saying,"Could i..sleep in here tonight?".I smiled gently and nodded.She climbed into my bed and curled up against me.I held her,strokingher hair gently.She fell asleep fast.I thought before falling asleep,"I love you,Alli baby..Forever and always".I could have sworn i heard her say back in my mind,"You know i know that..I love you to,J.I'm always right in your heart.And in Courtney's..I love you".I smiled,knowing i had heard her..


Jesse McCartney - Buy You A Drank

Jesse' amazing cover of T-Pain's song,Buy You A Drank

Jesse' BONUS TRACK from Departure


Hey,Guys!!,,,Tonight i'm just chillin and relaxing!...listening to music and on here,and on twitter!follow me at:www.twitter.com/jessecrazy0409
or at:www.twitter.com/bricity94616

Anyone ever?

Anyone ever get tired of people like Perez Hilton,bashing the GOOD celebs,like Jesse McCartney,who nothing wrong,but when they just go out to have a lil fun,like to a club,they get all over them and make a HUGE deal out  of it!?.....I HATE IT!!!!

Jesse M!

Anyone notice how HOT Jesse looked at this yrs KCA"s?